On this episode of the Get Ready Before Life Happens Podcast, I spoke with Cameron Huddleston, Cathy Sikorski and Neil Granger about The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Scammers. 

⚠️ The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Scammers

 

1️⃣ They Trigger Emotion, Not Logic
Scammers know panic overrides reason. They create fear, urgency, or even excitement so you react before you think.
👉 Pause before you act. 

 

2️⃣ They Manufacture Urgency
“Act now or lose everything.” Time pressure kills good decision-making.
👉 Slow down. Nothing legitimate requires instant action. 

 

3️⃣ They Exploit Trust and Loneliness
Romance scams, fake friendships, and long-game relationships all build emotional leverage.
👉 Connection is good, however always verify before you trust. 

 

4️⃣ They Isolate You
Scammers tell victims, “Don’t tell anyone.” Isolation keeps control.
👉 Always talk to someone a friend, advisor, or your bank, before taking action. 

 

5️⃣ They Prey on Greed
“If you act fast, you’ll make money” or “You owe this fee.” They use emotional hooks to justify financial loss.
👉 If it sounds too good or too urgent, it’s probably a trap. 

 

6️⃣ They Ask for Odd Payment or Access
Non-traceable/vanishing communication channel, gift cards, crypto, wire transfers, or requests to click suspicious links are all red flags.
👉 Legitimate organizations don’t demand untraceable payments. 

 

7️⃣ They Use Just Enough Personal Information
They’ll share partial info (a birthday, last digits, hometown) to appear credible.
👉 Be skeptical, scammers buy leaked data to sound legitimate.

 

 

 🎥 Watch this episode below: 

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🎧 Listen to the podcast below or on your favorite podcast app.

 

 

 

 

Connect with Cameron Huddleston:  

 

• Website: http://cameronhuddleston.com/  (here)
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cameron-huddleston-187b633/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cameronkhuddleston/ (here)

 

Connect with Cathy Sikorski:

 

• Website: https://cathysikorski.com
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cathysikorski24/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cathy_sikorski 

 

Connect with Neil Granger:

• Website - http://www.neilgranger.com/
• LinkedIn -  Neil Granger: https://www.linkedin.com/in/neil-granger

Books:

 

Cameron Huddleston:

 

• Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk: How to Have Essential Conversations with Your Parents About Their Finances https://amzn.to/3qsEFk7

 

Cathy Sikorski:  

 

• Who Moved My Teeth?: Preparing For Self, Loved Ones And Caregiving https://amzn.to/49ZaC9E
• 12 Conversations: How To Talk to Almost Anyone About Long-Term Care Planning  https://amzn.to/3T5w3iq
• Showering With Nana: Confessions Of A Serial Caregiver https://amzn.to/4bZFets

 

Referenced:

 

• Cathy’s four tips:
• Don’t panic, breathe
• Call your person - 1-888-555-1212
• Make a plan
• Have a “password” (code phrase)
• China’s Exploitation of Scam Centers in Southeast Asia (here)

 

Bios: 

 

Cameron Huddleston is the author of Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk: How to Have Essential Conversations With Your Parents About Their Finances. She also is an award-winning personal finance journalist whose work has appeared in AARP, Kiplinger Personal Finance, Forbes, Yahoo Finance and many more online and print publications. 

 

 

Cathy Sikorski, Esq. a Speaker, Elder Lawyer, Author and Media Guest unravels the complex financial and legal problems in the caregiving crisis. Cathy uses her own caregiver experience and expertise to educate, entertain and elevate the conversation around work, money, aging and caregiving. Her latest book was released in October 2021:  12 Conversations: How to Talk to Almost Anyone about Long-Term Care Planning. She has appeared on Huffington Post, AARP and is a SheSource expert for Women’s Media Center. Her One-Act Play, All Caregiving Aside was performed by Writers Theatre of New Jersey at Kean University, Healing VoicesOnStage. Sikorski serves on the Board of Directors of Nancy’s House, a nonprofit dedicated to respite for caregivers.  She can be found on YouTube, TikTok, Facebook and Linkedin.  Her website is www.cathysikorski.com

Neil Granger has been in the financial services industry for more than 41 years. In addition to being a California Life Agent, he has also been also licensed as a Life and Disability Analyst. Neil has spent most of his Insurance career as an independent agent in the area life, health, disability and Long Term Care insurance sales, working with individuals and small businesses.

Since 2009, Neil has focused his practice on Consulting and Expert work in the area of Elder Financial Abuse prevention.  Neil has worked with several District Attorney Offices as a member of their Financial Abuse Specialist Teams, has testified in both Criminal and Civil cases, and works with the Investigative Unit of the California Department of Insurance.  Neil has also helped draft, and has testified in favor of, insurance legislation, which has helped strengthen financial protection for California Seniors. He recently stepped down from the California Department of Insurance Curriculum Board after 12 years of membership- 6 years as its Chairman.

👉 Start Your Financial Readiness Plan: A free, practical plan that helps you create your in-case-of-emergency Financial First Aid Kit, organize what matters, and prepare before life happens. Start Your Free Financial Readiness Plan  https://www.tonysteuer.com

 

👉 Support the Mission: Become a Get Ready Insider and receive access to the Get Ready Library while helping support my mission to help people prepare before life happens. Become a Get Ready Insider  https://www.tonysteuer.com/get-ready-insider

Episode Transcript

This transcript has been lightly edited for clarity.

Tony: Welcome to Get Ready: Before Life Happens.

I’m pleased to be joined today by my friends Cameron Huddleston, Kathy, and Neil Granger to talk about the seven habits of highly effective scammers and how you can protect yourself and your loved ones.

Welcome to the show, everyone. Thanks for joining me today.

Cameron: Thanks.

Kathy: Hi.

Tony: To start off, could each of you share a very brief origin story and how it led to your work fighting scams?

Kathy, do you want to kick us off?

Kathy: I’m an elder law attorney, so unfortunately this is very typical in the population I work with.

Older adults are a very lucrative target for scammers.

Scammers come at them through email, text messages, and phone calls.

And seniors answer their phones, unlike a lot of younger people.

My children never answer their phones. They’re not going to talk to me unless I text them first.

Scammers know older adults may answer the phone, respond to a text, or answer the door.

Because of my work as an elder attorney, I’ve seen scamming going on for decades, and it has become more sophisticated over time.

I’ve had to develop a lot of educational material around this.

A big part of what I do is education, particularly helping organizations understand what caregivers and families need to know.

So I have plenty to talk about today.

Tony: Awesome. Glad to have you here.

Cameron?

Cameron: I’m a personal finance journalist. I’ve been doing this for nearly 25 years, and I’ve written a lot about scams, different types of scams, and how to avoid them.

But it really hit home for me when my mother was almost a victim of a scam.

I say “almost” because I intervened.

I found out because I got a call from my uncle.

Someone had contacted my mother and told her she had won some sort of sweepstakes, but that she had to wire a fee to collect the winnings.

She called my uncle and asked him how to wire money.

He called me and said, “I think we’ve got a problem. Your mom just called and asked me how to wire money.”

I rushed over to her house.

I was intercepting the calls.

And, like Kathy said, she kept answering the phone.

I kept saying, “Mom, stop answering.”

But she was in the very early stages of Alzheimer’s disease.

Her reasoning ability was already impaired, so I couldn’t reason with her the way I normally would.

I stayed with her the entire day to prevent her from answering the calls because the scammers kept calling over and over again.

Even when I answered and told the person, “Don’t call back. I know this is a scam,” they continued.

I contacted the phone company and tried to block the calls.

They were incredibly aggressive and relentless.

That experience really drove home how good scammers can be at what they do.

Tony: They really are.

For people watching and listening, you can also go back and listen to my conversation with Chris Heye, who researches cognitive decline and financial decision-making.

One of the important issues is that changes in our cognitive abilities can start earlier than we may recognize.

Neil?

Neil: I’ve been an insurance agent for about 41 or 42 years.

I sold insurance for a long time and then took a step back from that around 2009.

A friend of mine who was a litigator asked whether I would be interested in serving as an expert witness in an elder financial abuse case involving annuities because I knew a lot about annuities.

Of course, I said no.

Eventually, my friend Steve coaxed me into doing it.

I was pretty surprised by what I saw and by the level of predatory behavior involved.

After that, I became very interested in the issue.

Around 2010, I was asked to speak at a conference for California Advocates for Nursing Home Reform, which is a nonprofit focused on elder protection.

They asked me to speak about annuities.

That eventually led to my involvement in major class-action cases involving insurance companies, field marketing organizations, and abusive sales practices.

I was later asked by then-Assemblyman Dave Jones, who later became California Insurance Commissioner, to speak before the insurance subcommittee and at a press conference on elder financial abuse and annuity abuse.

I also played a small role in work around legislation that eventually became annuity suitability requirements.

From there, I started training investigators from the Department of Insurance on annuity abuse, along with court personnel, litigators, and prosecutors.

At the time, it was a largely undiscovered area of abuse.

I’d like to say we solved the problem.

But in the last few years, with faster internet access, social media, and new technology, I think things have gotten exponentially worse.

Tony and I know each other because we both served on a curriculum board together.

We used to talk about this stuff on the drive to and from meetings in Sacramento.

That’s how I got involved.

Tony: We even worked on some cases together.

As you point out, things can get ugly pretty quickly.

One thing that stands out is the aggressiveness and persistence of scammers.

Cameron, do you want to go a little deeper on that?

Cameron: One of the first things I would point out, regardless of the particular scam, is that the scammer’s goal is to get you thinking emotionally rather than rationally.

They want to scare you.

Or they want to get you excited.

In my mom’s case, they told her she had won a sweepstakes.

“Oh my goodness. I won money!”

You get into a heightened emotional state.

Other times, they call, text, or email and tell you something bad has happened.

“There’s fraud on your account.”

Or you receive an invoice supposedly from PayPal saying you bought a new computer.

You know you didn’t buy the computer, so you think, “Oh my goodness. I have to respond.”

Or somebody tells you the IRS is auditing you.

They want you scared or excited.

Once they can get you thinking emotionally rather than rationally, it becomes easier to manipulate you.

That’s definitely one habit of a successful scammer.

Then they turn up the pressure.

“You have to do something right now.”

“You need to take immediate action.”

“Something bad will happen.”

Or:

“You’ll lose this opportunity.”

Tony: That urgency is so important.

I was talking with a former FBI victim advocate, and one of the things we discussed was romance scams.

Bad actors create an emotional connection.

They can be persistent.

And they can also be very patient.

They bring the person along over time.

It can be scary how effective that is.

Kathy: That makes sense when you realize loneliness is such a major issue in our society right now.

There’s a loneliness epidemic, especially among older adults who may have difficulty getting out or have lost friends and spouses.

The thing I didn’t realize was how prevalent romance scams are.

But I agree with Cameron about panic.

That’s one of the first things scammers want.

They want you to panic because something bad is happening.

Or they want you to panic because something wonderful could happen, but only if you act immediately.

One of the biggest things we can teach our loved ones is:

Don’t panic.

If you get a call, an email, or a text, don’t automatically push the panic button.

My mother used to answer these calls.

Her 100-year-old best friend would sometimes even call scammers back because she had time and wanted to hear what they had to say.

So education is really important.

Don’t panic.

Tony: I think we’ve already touched on several habits.

There’s urgency.

There’s emotional manipulation.

There’s loneliness.

And then there’s the flip side of loneliness, which is isolation.

“Don’t tell anybody about this.”

“I want to talk to my spouse.”

“You don’t need to bother your spouse.”

“You don’t need to bother your kids.”

They try to isolate the person.

Neil: I’d broaden the idea of a romance scam a little bit.

It isn’t only about older adults falling romantically in love with somebody.

Sometimes it’s somebody using a personal relationship to motivate a victim to send money.

I’ve worked with Adult Protective Services through the Forensic Center in San Francisco, and there were situations where people built relationships with older adults and eventually persuaded them to send substantial amounts of money or cryptocurrency.

A broader way to think about it is somebody using a personal relationship to motivate a victim to part with their money.

And increasingly, these scams can be connected with large international organized-crime operations.

One thing I would tell people is:

If you have a smartphone, a computer, email, or social media, you’re one of two types of people.

You’ve either already been approached by a scammer, or you probably will be.

I got an email today supposedly from Costco saying my membership had expired and offering a free gift if I renewed.

My membership hadn’t expired.

You have to look at where the message is actually coming from.

Cameron: And going back to what you said about isolation, that is such a typical scam tactic.

You might get a text supposedly from your bank telling you there is fraudulent activity.

You respond or call the number.

Suddenly, you’re talking to a supposed bank representative.

Then they tell you:

“We’re working with the FBI.”

Or:

“We’re working with the FTC.”

Then they connect you to a supposed government agent.

That person tells you the situation is much bigger.

“Your identity has been stolen.”

“It has been used to commit crimes.”

Then comes:

“You can’t tell anyone.”

“You can’t compromise the investigation.”

“Don’t talk to an attorney.”

“Don’t talk to your spouse.”

“If you do, we can’t protect you.”

If someone on the phone is telling you not to talk with anyone else, not to contact law enforcement, not to talk with an attorney, and not to tell your spouse, that is a huge red flag.

Government agencies are not going to operate that way.

Hang up.

Tony: And for listeners around the world, that principle applies beyond U.S. government agencies.

Legitimate law enforcement and regulatory agencies are not generally going to call you out of nowhere and pressure you into secretly transferring money.

Kathy: Another thing Neil mentioned that I want to underscore is checking the sender’s email address.

People miss this all the time.

I’ve missed it myself.

My daughters sometimes ask me, “Did you check who that actually came from?”

Whenever you get an email involving anything financial, check the actual sender.

Often, the address is obviously suspicious.

It may be a strange combination of letters or numbers.

It may not use the organization’s legitimate domain.

Sometimes scammers make it more convincing by using an address that looks very similar to the real one.

But check.

That’s one of the first things you can do.

And if you recognize something as a scam, stop communicating.

Block it.

Block the number.

Block the email.

Scammers may keep trying from different numbers, but keep blocking them.

Another thing scammers do is make a phone number look local.

You may see your own area code.

You may even see a person’s name.

That doesn’t mean the call is legitimate.

My advice is:

If you don’t recognize the caller, don’t answer.

If it’s important, they’ll leave a message.

That’s what I told my mother over and over again.

Neil: That’s called spoofing.

Someone can make the number displayed on your phone look like it’s coming from a familiar organization or even a local government agency.

Another important issue is that scammers may already have some personal information about you.

They may have obtained it from stolen data or purchased information.

So when they call, they can sound convincing.

They may know your bank.

They may know other details.

You start thinking, “I really am talking to the fraud department.”

One way to protect yourself is to say:

“I’ll call you back.”

Then find the organization’s legitimate phone number yourself.

Don’t simply call the number the caller gives you.

Tony: I want to emphasize that.

Don’t call the fraud number they give you unless you independently verify it.

If the message claims to be from Bank of America, go independently to Bank of America’s real website or use the number on the back of your card.

And with email, the same principle applies.

Even if the message looks legitimate, don’t automatically click the link.

Go to the financial institution’s website yourself and log in from there.

Cameron: Yes.

Don’t click on links.

Don’t click on unexpected attachments.

A scammer may send you to a fake website designed to steal your information or money.

An attachment could contain malware or spyware.

Sometimes you click something and suddenly get a pop-up telling you there’s a problem with your computer.

That can lead into a tech-support scam.

You call the number.

The scammer tells you there’s a virus.

Next thing you know, you’ve given them remote access to your computer.

If someone unexpectedly asks for remote access to your computer, that should be a major red flag.

Kathy: Turn it off.

If something crazy starts happening on the screen, turn it off.

Don’t panic.

Tony: And again, if you think something is wrong, contact somebody you trust or a legitimate technical-support resource through a channel you independently verify.

Cameron: There’s another point about scammers having personal information.

If somebody calls claiming to be your bank and starts offering personal information to prove they’re legitimate, be suspicious.

Your financial institution isn’t going to call an unknown person and start announcing sensitive personal details.

They don’t know for certain who answered the phone.

If you call your bank, they will ask you questions to verify your identity.

That’s different.

Neil: I’ve actually had legitimate fraud departments call me.

When that happens, I tell them:

“I’m not comfortable discussing this on a call you originated. I’ll call you back through the number on your website or card.”

A legitimate institution has always been fine with that.

They say, “Absolutely.”

They aren’t going to resist you protecting yourself.

Kathy: And sometimes people don’t actually know personal details about you.

They’re phishing for them.

This happened to my aunt and uncle twice.

They got a call saying:

“Your grandson is in trouble. This is the sheriff’s office. You need to send us $5,000.”

Then:

“Don’t call your son. Your grandson is embarrassed.”

Fortunately, my uncle called me.

Five years later, after my uncle had died, my aunt got essentially the same call.

She panicked again and had forgotten we had already dealt with that scam once.

The scammer may say:

“Your grandson is in trouble.”

And the grandparent responds:

“Michael?”

Now the scammer knows the grandson’s name.

“Yes, Michael.”

You start giving them the information they didn’t actually have.

That’s why I developed a very simple reminder card.

Don’t panic. Call your person.

Put the name and phone number of your trusted person on it.

Put it next to the computer.

Put it near the phone.

Put it somewhere you can easily see it.

Make that the habit.

Tony: I love that.

“Don’t panic. Call your person.”

And with AI, there’s another issue.

It’s becoming possible to create very convincing voice impersonations from relatively short audio samples.

One recommendation is for families to have a shared phrase, password, or question that only family members would know.

Maybe it’s a line from a favorite movie or something personal between you.

That gives you another way to verify the person.

Kathy: That’s funny because when my kids were little, we had something like that.

If they were somewhere and felt uncomfortable, they would come over to me and say a particular phrase.

I knew something was wrong and that they wanted to leave.

So yes, let’s go back to that.

Have a family password.

If someone is supposedly your grandson, ask for the agreed-upon phrase.

If they can’t give it to you, that tells you something is wrong.

Cameron: We have something similar in our family.

There’s a question we’ve agreed that we would ask if someone called claiming to be one of our children.

Only they would know the answer.

I have a friend-of-a-friend story where someone received a call that sounded exactly like someone she knew.

The caller claimed to have been abducted from a parking garage and was begging for ransom money.

The scammers had apparently used AI to imitate the person’s voice.

My voice is all over social media.

A scammer could potentially get a sample of my voice.

My husband could get a call that sounds like me claiming something terrible has happened.

That’s why we have an agreed-upon question that only we can answer.

It’s a good idea for families, parents, grandparents, children, and even close friends.

Tony: That’s excellent.

As we start to close out, I have what’s called the Get Ready Hot Take Trio.

These are three quick questions I ask all my guests.

We’ll do this round-robin style.

First:

What’s one common belief about scams that you want to bust?

Cameron?

Cameron: The belief that it’s your fault if you fall for a scam.

That you did something wrong.

That you’re stupid.

It’s not that simple.

These scammers are very good.

For many of them, this is their job.

They’re doing it every day.

There are organized operations with scripts written specifically to emotionally manipulate people.

Even very intelligent people who know about common scams can become victims because the scammers can be extremely effective.

So if someone falls for a scam, shame shouldn’t be the response.

Tony: Love it.

Kathy?

Kathy: The myth that it can’t happen to you.

People think:

“I’m young.”

“I’m smart.”

“I’m the one taking care of Mom and Dad.”

“It can’t happen to me.”

It can.

Any of us can have that moment where we click a link without paying close enough attention.

We should tell older adults:

“I’m just as vulnerable as you are. I have to pay attention too.”

This isn’t about thinking we’re smart and they’re not.

We all have to pay attention.

Tony: Absolutely.

The four of us talk about scams.

This is in our wheelhouse.

We’re still susceptible.

Neil?

Neil: My myth is that scammers are small-time operators or just isolated individuals.

Increasingly, there are very large organized crime groups running sophisticated scam operations.

There can be hundreds or thousands of people systematically targeting victims around the world through social media, email, texting, gaming platforms, and other channels.

Some of the people working in those scam centers may themselves have been trafficked or coerced.

The important point is that this isn’t necessarily a lone person sitting somewhere improvising.

These can be sophisticated organizations that are much better at scamming people than most people are at resisting them.

Tony: Great point.

Let’s get out the time machine.

If you could go back knowing what you know now about fraud and scams, what would you tell your younger self?

Neil?

Neil: Slow down.

Be patient.

Don’t be quick to decide.

Vet anything that comes your way to determine whether it’s legitimate.

Then make an informed decision.

Tony: Love that.

Kathy?

Kathy: Have a person.

Everyone should have a person.

If anything looks crazy to you, call your person.

The first thing you do is call your person.

Tony: And that goes directly back to the isolation tactic.

If the person on the other side won’t give you time to talk with somebody you trust, that itself is a major red flag.

Kathy: Then definitely call your person.

Tony: Cameron?

Cameron: Don’t answer the phone.

Let calls go to voicemail unless you are sure who is calling.

If it’s your best friend, child, parent, or somebody whose number you recognize, great.

Otherwise, let it go.

If it’s important, whether it’s your doctor or a financial institution, they can leave a message.

Tony: To close out, what’s your number one tip for helping people change the way they deal with scams and fraud?

Kathy?

Kathy: I don’t know that I can change the way people think about scams because most people know they exist.

I’d like to change the way people deal with them.

You don’t have to do it alone.

Have a person.

Talk about scams with your friends.

Talk about them at the senior center.

If something happens, don’t be embarrassed.

It’s not your fault.

If it happened to you, or a friend, or relative, talk about it.

The more we talk about scams, the more likely people are to question things, take their time, call their person, and recognize what’s happening.

Let’s not hide from it.

Make it part of the conversation.

Tony: I love that.

Let’s not hide from it.

Cameron?

Cameron: Scammers are always coming up with new ways to trick us.

The best thing you can do is learn the red flags because those red flags tend to show up across many different scams.

Creating a sense of urgency.

Trying to put you into an emotional state.

Telling you not to talk with anyone.

Asking for unusual forms of payment, such as gift cards, cryptocurrency, or wire transfers.

If you know the red flags, you have a better chance of recognizing the scam even if you’ve never seen that exact version before.

Tony: Excellent.

Sometimes they’ll also send you money and then tell you they accidentally sent too much and ask you to send some of it back.

There are a lot of variations.

Neil?

Neil: Don’t think you’re impervious to scams.

If you own a smartphone, use the internet, have a telephone, use social media, or participate on gaming platforms, you will probably be approached by scammers.

You need to have a plan.

Tony: Great advice.

To wrap up, where can people learn more about each of you and your work?

Kathy?

Kathy: You can find me through my website. My contact information is there, and people are welcome to email me with questions or contact me about speaking to organizations on these issues.

Tony: Fantastic.

Kathy also has several books, including Who Moved My Teeth?, which I’m a big fan of.

There will be links in the show notes.

Cameron?

Cameron: You can find me at CameronHuddleston.com.

You can contact me there and find links to my social-media profiles.

I also have a free scam red-flags sheet people can download.

Print it out.

Hang it near your phone.

Put it on your refrigerator.

Give it to your loved ones.

It’s a simple reminder of the warning signs.

Tony: Awesome.

You also have an excellent book, Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk, because these really are conversations families need to have.

There will be a link to that in the show notes as well.

Neil?

Neil: I’m primarily available through LinkedIn.

My contact information and information about what I do are there.

I keep a lower profile, but people are welcome to contact me.

Tony: Fantastic.

Thank you all for joining me again today on Get Ready: Before Life Happens.

Cameron: Thanks, Tony.

Kathy: Great conversation.

Neil: Great to see everyone again.

Tony: This was terrific.

And thank you, everyone, as always, for tuning in.

If you found something today that helps you recognize fraud, spot the red flags, or protect someone you care about, please subscribe and share this episode with a friend.

Join the Get Ready Movement at TonySteuer.com and get access to my free resources.

Until next time, let’s change the way we think about money.