Early conversations about caregiving give families more choices when life changes.

 

Suzanne Scheer, founder of SGS Insurance Services, joined me on the Get Ready Before Life Happens Podcast to talk about preparing for future care needs while everyone is healthy.

 

What Stood Out

• Early conversations help families understand a loved one’s care preferences.
• Recognize caregiving’s financial and career impact, particularly on women.
• Understanding long-term care costs and coverage helps families prepare.
• Essential documents help families follow a loved one’s wishes.
• Respect an older adult’s need for control and independence.
• Protect your own health and well-being while caregiving.

 

The Bottom Line 

Planning for care is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and your family.

 🎥 Watch this episode below: 

 

🎧 Listen to the podcast below or on your favorite podcast app. 

 

 

Connect with Suzanne Scheer, J.D., CLTC:  

 

• Website: https://www.sgsinsurance.net
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/suzannescheer/

 

Bio: 

 

Suzanne Scheer is an attorney turned financial advisor in Rockville, MD. She specializes in long-term care insurance, having seen first-hand the impact that it had on her parents during their long illnesses.  Suzanne strives to educate as many people as possible about long-term care insurance so they can make an informed decision as to whether it is right for them.

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Transcript

 

 

 

Tony Steuer: Caregiving often begins long before families feel fully prepared. In this episode, we're going to explore how planning ahead creates more clarity, support, and options for the people we care about most.

Welcome to Get Ready: Before Life Happens. I'm your host, Tony Steuer.

Today, I'm pleased to be joined by Suzanne Scheer. Suzanne, welcome to Get Ready: Before Life Happens.

Suzanne Scheer: Thank you so much for having me, Tony.

Tony: I'm looking forward to this conversation. Caregiving and long-term care are topics we discuss often on the podcast because they're so important.

Let's start with your origin story. How did your personal caregiving experience shape the work you're doing today?

Suzanne: I was an only child, and my dad was a life insurance agent for 50 years, so I grew up around insurance my whole life. Initially, I wasn't interested in it. I wanted to become a lawyer, so that's the path I pursued.

I became a family law attorney, and when I was 33, my mom fell and broke her hip. She also injured her spinal cord, which affected her hands.

Suddenly, I had to take over my parents' finances and help oversee their care.

At that point, my son was 15 months old, so I was a typical sandwich-generation caregiver.

My mom continued having health issues. A few years later, my dad had a stroke, and eventually he developed what appeared to be end-stage vascular dementia.

I was juggling everything. I left work and focused on overseeing my parents' care while raising my son.

My poor husband was probably wondering, "What about me over here?"

I was consumed with everything.

Even though I wasn't physically providing most of the care, the stress was through the roof. I was constantly worried about what phone call I might receive next.

That went on for about eight years.

Then my parents passed away five weeks apart in 2010.

It was really rough.

Afterward, it took me a while to feel like myself again because I'd spent so many years focused on everybody else.

When I was ready to return to work, I didn't want to go back to practicing law. I wanted something more flexible.

So I became a financial advisor.

As I learned more about hybrid long-term care insurance options, I realized how few people understood what long-term care insurance was or why it might matter.

I became almost obsessed with learning everything I could about it.

I wanted to understand the options, stay current with changes, and help people think about these decisions earlier.

I had experienced caregiving at a relatively young age. Many of my peers didn't start dealing with aging parents until their 50s.

And if we're fortunate enough to live a long life, there's a reasonable chance that someone in the family will eventually need care.

There are options that can make that easier.

My goal is to educate people so they understand what's available.

Maybe a particular option is right for them. Maybe it isn't.

The important thing is knowing what the choices are.

People need to understand that Medicare and health insurance generally won't pay for ongoing custodial long-term care.

If you suddenly needed a significant amount of money for care, what would you do?

My dad had long-term care insurance. My mom couldn't qualify for it.

There were times when she was afraid of running out of money, so she wouldn't hire a caregiver even when she really needed one.

That was stressful for both of us.

I can't take away the pain of watching someone you love experience serious health problems.

But if I can help with the financial part of that experience, I feel like I'm contributing something meaningful.

Tony: I'm sorry you went through that. Caregiving is incredibly challenging, and it's becoming more common.

For anyone unfamiliar with the term, the sandwich generation refers to people who are caring for aging parents while also raising children.

You're being pulled in different directions.

You had your son, your husband, your parents, and your career. That's a lot to balance.

What were some of the biggest challenges you faced?

Suzanne: One of the biggest was deciding to leave work.

I did a little part-time work initially, but eventually I stopped working.

I was fortunate that my husband's income made that possible.

I honestly don't know how I would have managed everything while working full time.

There were constant interruptions.

Someone would fall.

Someone needed medication.

There were groceries to get, appointments to arrange, and problems to solve.

It seemed like something was always happening.

But there was another side to being home.

Because I wasn't working, I sometimes had more time to worry.

If my parents were having a procedure or we were between medical crises, I could find myself thinking about what might happen next.

Work might actually have provided some distraction.

Instead, I was immersed in medical concerns all the time.

I wasn't from the medical field, so dealing with those situations was difficult.

It can really affect you psychologically.

Tony: You mentioned taking time away from your career, and I want to highlight that because it has such an important financial impact.

When we talk about women and wealth accumulation, caregiving is a major factor.

Women are often the primary caregivers.

Taking time out of the workforce can affect salaries, promotions, retirement contributions, and Social Security benefits.

How do you see caregiving affecting women in particular?

Suzanne: I think you described it perfectly.

There's often an assumption that the daughter or the wife will step into the caregiving role.

I see it when I'm talking with couples about long-term care insurance.

Sometimes the husband says, "We don't need that."

And I wonder whether he's thinking that his wife will be the person providing care.

I'm not saying that's true of every couple.

But women often carry a larger share of the responsibility.

In families with several children, it may be the eldest daughter who becomes the primary caregiver.

Geography matters too, because families are spread across different locations.

The financial impact on women can be startling.

You're not advancing your career.

You're not contributing to retirement savings.

You may be missing out on Social Security credits or opportunities for promotion.

And employers don't always understand what caregivers are dealing with.

There are millions of unpaid caregivers in this country, and many are also working.

I don't know how they manage both responsibilities, but somehow they find a way.

Tony: That's also an important message for employers.

If you're a CEO, founder, or business leader listening to this conversation, caregiving is something your employees may be experiencing.

Helping employees manage those responsibilities can be good for them and for your business.

Have you seen employers offering programs to support caregivers?

Suzanne: I've heard about programs, although I'm not familiar with all the details.

Some employers are becoming more understanding when employees need time away from work.

Others are offering caregiver support.

There are also protections under the Family and Medical Leave Act, although eligibility depends on the employer and the circumstances.

But if someone is caring for a parent with dementia for 10 years, short-term leave isn't going to solve the problem.

So I think employers have an opportunity to do more.

Tony: I'll look into some of those resources and include anything useful in the show notes.

And if someone listening knows of a good caregiver-support program, please share it with me.

Let's turn to planning.

Why is it important to start thinking about long-term care earlier than we might expect?

Suzanne: One important reason is qualifying for insurance.

Generally speaking, your health needs to be reasonably good to qualify for long-term care insurance.

The younger you are when you apply, the more likely you may be to qualify.

There are different products now, including some options for people who might not qualify for traditional coverage.

But health still matters.

Another factor is cost.

Generally, premiums are lower when you purchase coverage at a younger age.

In some cases, someone buying coverage at 40 may pay substantially less than someone buying coverage at 60.

Of course, there are challenges.

Younger people may not have the money available.

They're often raising children, paying mortgages, and handling many other expenses.

And ironically, the period when you might want to think about protecting yourself can be the same time you're already overwhelmed by caring for your parents.

I know that if someone had approached me about buying long-term care insurance while I was going through everything with my parents, I probably wouldn't have been very receptive.

I was barely keeping up with what was already on my plate.

Some policies also have benefits that grow with inflation protection, so starting earlier may provide more time for those benefits to increase.

Many people begin focusing on long-term care insurance when their children are older or have left home.

That can be a good time to explore the options.

But I hate seeing someone come to me after a serious diagnosis, such as Parkinson's disease or multiple sclerosis, when they may no longer qualify for coverage they could have obtained earlier.

I want people to know about their options while those choices are still available.

Tony: There are definitely tradeoffs.

Families in their 30s and 40s are paying for a lot of other things, and long-term care insurance may be difficult to fit into the budget.

But let's put insurance aside for a minute.

Why is it important to have conversations about future care needs?

Suzanne: Because without those conversations, families are often left reacting to events.

That's what happened to me.

We hadn't talked about what my parents wanted.

So when something happened, I had to make decisions without really knowing their wishes.

If a parent has an accident or becomes unable to communicate, you may have to guess.

And that's not something you want to guess about.

Would they prefer to receive care at home?

Would they want to move into a particular facility?

Who would they want providing care?

Is there someone they would rather not have caring for them?

Those are important questions.

If you have the conversation while everyone is healthy, you can approach it calmly.

You're not in the middle of a crisis.

I really wish more families would do that.

Once someone can no longer communicate their preferences, it becomes much harder to honor their wishes.

Having those conversations ahead of time is a gift to everyone.

It's also difficult.

Older generations sometimes viewed finances and personal decisions as private matters.

Even asking whether someone has estate planning documents can feel uncomfortable.

But these conversations are so important.

Tony: You said something I want to emphasize.

If you haven't told anyone what your wishes are, they can't be expected to follow them.

Do you have advice for starting those conversations?

Suzanne: Sometimes I'll offer to be the bad guy.

I'll tell someone, "You can say your insurance advisor brought this up and thought it would be a good idea to talk about it."

Another approach is to use a story.

Maybe you've read about a public figure dealing with dementia or another serious health condition.

Or maybe a friend has been through a difficult caregiving experience.

You can say:

"I was reading about what happened to this family, and I started thinking about what we would do if something similar happened to us."

That can open the door.

I wouldn't necessarily expect to have the entire conversation immediately.

You might simply introduce the subject and agree to talk later.

There's probably never going to be a perfect time.

But it's important to approach it from a place of love.

One thing I saw with my mother was how difficult losing control could be.

She was mentally sharp but physically limited.

She didn't like losing control of her finances or having someone else organize her belongings or do things around the house.

That loss of independence was very hard for her.

So when you're talking with a parent, focus on helping them maintain control over their own wishes.

You can explain:

"If you tell me what you want, I can help make sure those wishes are followed."

That changes the tone of the conversation.

You're helping them retain a voice in their future rather than making decisions for them.

Tony: I love that framing.

Another way to begin is by talking about your own plans.

You can share what you've done and explain that you want your loved ones to know your wishes.

Sometimes that makes it easier to start the conversation.

Tony: Before we wrap up, I want to discuss using existing assets to help pay for long-term care.

People are familiar with traditional long-term care insurance, where you pay premiums for coverage.

But there are other planning tools available, including ways to use existing life insurance policies or annuities.

Can you explain some of those options, including 1035 exchanges?

Suzanne: Definitely.

One option involves life insurance that has accumulated cash value.

I'll use my husband as an example.

He had a whole life insurance policy, but we were more concerned about what would happen if he needed long-term care than if he passed away.

Based on our other assets, we felt we had less need for the life insurance death benefit.

So we exchanged the existing whole life policy for a product that combines an annuity with long-term care benefits.

The particular product we used was from CareMatters.

One thing I liked about it was that there were relatively few medical questions, which may make it an option for people with more complicated medical histories.

We transferred the cash value from the whole life policy into the new product.

If he needs care, the money is there.

If he doesn't, there's a death benefit.

Another option is for someone who already owns an annuity.

In certain situations, that annuity may be exchanged for another annuity that provides tax-free distributions for qualified long-term care expenses.

This can be particularly useful when an existing annuity has a substantial taxable gain.

I had a client whose annuity was worth approximately $650,000.

About $500,000 of that was gain.

If she simply withdrew the money, that gain would generally be taxable.

Instead, we exchanged the annuity for one that qualified under the Pension Protection Act provisions for long-term care.

Under the applicable rules, qualified long-term care benefits could then be received tax-free.

She was 86 years old, and the medical underwriting was relatively limited.

That created another option for her.

There are also strategies involving inherited IRAs.

For many beneficiaries who inherit a traditional IRA, the account generally must be emptied within 10 years.

There are products designed to use distributions from an inherited IRA to fund long-term care benefits.

The person still has to deal with the applicable income taxes on the IRA distributions.

But instead of simply spending the distributions, they may be able to use them to fund long-term care protection for themselves and potentially a spouse.

These are some of my favorite strategies because people may already have assets that can be repositioned.

There are so many options available, and I don't think enough people know about them.

Tony: I agree.

A lot of people have life insurance policies they no longer need in their original form.

And if there's significant cash value or a taxable gain, it may be worth exploring whether that asset could serve another purpose.

Of course, there are important tax, product, and suitability considerations.

And one point worth repeating is that Medicare and ordinary health insurance generally don't cover ongoing custodial long-term care.

Medicaid may provide coverage for eligible individuals, but financial eligibility rules can be restrictive.

The point is to understand your options before you need them.

And just to be clear for everyone watching and listening, neither Suzanne nor I is endorsing a particular product here.

We're discussing planning concepts worth exploring.

Suzanne, let's wrap up with the Get Ready Hot Take Trio.

What's one myth about long-term care or caregiving that you would like to break?

Suzanne: I would like to break the myth that long-term care is only something people need at the end of their lives.

I've seen research suggesting that a meaningful percentage of people who need care are younger than 65.

It may be because of an accident.

It may be because of an illness.

And the need for care doesn't necessarily have to last for years.

Someone might need care for six months.

But imagine paying $7,000 a month for someone to come into your home.

That's in addition to your mortgage, groceries, and other expenses.

Most people don't have an extra $7,000 available every month.

So the point is that long-term care planning isn't only for someone in their 80s or 90s.

You never know when a need for care might arise.

That's why it's worth thinking about earlier.

Tony: That's the whole concept behind insurance.

You generally obtain coverage before you know whether you're going to need it.

People sometimes say, "I'm not old enough to think about that."

But unexpected things can happen at any age.

Let's get out the time machine for a minute.

If you could go back to before your parents needed care, what advice would you give your younger self?

Suzanne: I would absolutely have talked with my parents earlier.

I would have asked:

"If something happens, what kind of care would you want?"

"Where would you want to receive care?"

"Who would you want taking care of you?"

I would have had those conversations while they were healthy.

I also would have looked into long-term care insurance for myself earlier.

And I would have made sure my parents had their documents in order.

Eventually, I took over their finances, so at least I knew where much of their financial information was.

But their planning wasn't completely finished.

I wish we had gotten everything organized earlier.

That would have made a tremendous difference.

Tony: Getting your affairs in order helps the people you care about.

And you really can't know when a life-changing event may happen.

To close out the Hot Take Trio, what's your number-one tip to change the way we think about long-term care planning and caregiving?

Suzanne: I want people to think about it as one of the biggest gifts they can give their future selves and their families.

Planning creates options.

It can give you choices about where you receive care and how you receive it.

Ideally, those decisions can be based on what's best for you rather than being driven entirely by finances.

People sometimes look at long-term care planning as something scary or depressing.

Some even have superstitions about it.

They think, "If I buy long-term care insurance, that means I'll need it."

Or, "If I make a will, something bad will happen."

Instead, I want people to recognize the peace of mind that can come from having a plan.

For a long time, I wasn't sure we would be able to obtain coverage for my husband.

I kept increasing my own coverage, but I remained uncomfortable about the possibility of him needing care.

When we finally found an option that worked for him, it was a tremendous relief.

Now we know there's a source of funds available if he needs care, subject to the terms of the policy.

I'm the kind of person who always thinks about the worst-case scenario.

Maybe that's because I was a lawyer.

I think about what could happen if someone needs care when the stock market is down.

Or what if care expenses are much greater than expected?

Having dedicated funding can help reduce some of those concerns.

I know these conversations can be uncomfortable.

But if you take some time to understand the options, you may find something that works for your family.

And checking that off your to-do list can be a wonderful feeling.

I hate seeing people in their 80s who wish they'd known about these options sooner.

Or people who have just received a diagnosis that prevents them from qualifying for coverage.

I want people to know what choices they have and how important this can be to their overall financial plan.

Tony: That's great advice.

And the easiest first step is to have a conversation.

Talk with your spouse, partner, parents, or other loved ones.

We've discussed organizing documents, looking at insurance, and exploring different ways to pay for care.

Insurance isn't always the right solution.

But conversations and planning are essential.

Suzanne, where can people learn more about you and your work?

Suzanne: My website is sgsinsurance.net .

I'm also active on LinkedIn under Suzanne Scheer, JD, CLTC.

Those are probably the two best places to find me.

And I want to add one more thing.

Please make sure you have powers of attorney in place.

Wills are important, but I'm always surprised by how many people haven't prepared powers of attorney.

If something happens and you're unable to speak or act for yourself, you want someone you trust to have the appropriate legal authority to help.

That can be very important when it comes to managing finances and making decisions.

You can work with an attorney, and some states provide statutory forms.

I'm not practicing law anymore, so this isn't legal advice.

But I really encourage people to make sure those documents are taken care of.

Tony: That's an important reminder.

There's an old saying in estate planning that if you don't have an estate plan, your state has one for you.

And it may not be the plan you would have chosen.

Suzanne, thank you for joining me on Get Ready: Before Life Happens.

Suzanne: Thank you so much for having me, Tony.

Tony: For everyone watching and listening, we'll include links to Suzanne's website and LinkedIn profile in the show notes.

Thank you, as always, for tuning in to Get Ready: Before Life Happens.

If something today changed the way you think about caregiving or long-term care, please share the episode and subscribe.

You can also visit tonysteuer.com to learn more about the Financial Readiness Plan, including resources to help you prepare for future care needs.

And you can support this podcast by becoming a Get Ready Insider.

Because when life happens, the way you think about money matters.